One settler, one prozac

Someone spray-painted this picture on a sign for an accounting firm near my office. I’m not sure how the accounting firm feels about it.

It’s obviously a play on the Azanian People’s Liberation Army slogan of “One settler, one bullet”, used during the 1980s struggle against Apartheid in South Africa or, as modified by Kobus in District 9, “One prawn, one bullet”. Come to think of it, kids probably think Kobus coined it. Anyway, before all the whites get uncomfortable, I just need to clarify that “settler” was never used to refer to all whites, just those who thought oppression was awesome.

I’m struck by the irony of the sign every time I drive past it and I don’t know whether to find it funny or not. I guess that’s the whole point. I’ve heard a lot of white people freaking out about South Africa lately, probably because of the elections and stuff. Sometimes their fears are totally WTF-like to me, but generally they are just the same fears as those held by South Africans of all races, usually having something to do with Julius Malema or the City of Johannesburg accidentally sending people electricity bills for R2.5 million (as though electricity metres even count that high). What I’m trying to say is that they are, by and large, understandable concerns, but nothing that a little prozac wouldn’t cure.

And they’re clearly concerns that are making people vote for the DA, as initial election results show that the DA has gained significantly in these elections, now holding approximately 1 in every 4 votes. That’s up from 1 in every 100 votes not that long ago. Clearly the DA is no longer just a white party because there are not enough whites (or coloured people for that matter) in this country to give them that much support. I wouldn’t be surprised if a lot of the DA’s new support is as a result of Juju being such a pain in the arse over the last few years, as well as COPE’s collapse of epic and embarrassing proportions. The DA should probably thank them all for that.

I’m all for a strong opposition, they keep the ANC on their toes, and democracy, service delivery and our everyday lives in general are better for it. It’s what is going to ensure that South Africa doesn’t go down the same disastrous route as many other African countries.

All of this doesn’t really matter considering that Judgement Day is scheduled for tomorrow. This is when people are supposed to get raptured and stuff. According to some very shady maths done by Harold Camping, who sounds like a full-on loony, tomorrow is 7000 years since Noah’s flood started. He’s cried this wolf several times before, making a big fuss of 21 May 1994 but, after that passed with no rapturing, he realised he’d “miscalculated” … again.

So we’ll see how tomorrow goes. Those of us who aren’t raptured may face “the torment of a scorpion” for the next 5 months until 21 October 2011, when the End of the World will go down. It doesn’t sound like much fun. Tell your friends and family you love and value them today… not because of the impending doom, but because you should do that every day. Peace out and all the best with Judgement Day.


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